Nothing in life has taught me how to relax or feel happy & well.
Right now, I don't even understand why I'm not happy.
Constant emotional and physical tension feel normal,
I have some unhealthy coping habits like smoking and recreational drugs.
I'm holding down my job, I have some good friends, but I am surviving, definitely not thriving.
Then, something a friend says changes everything.
I am in the shabby but homely lounge in our shared house, it is a light place, big window, slightly worn carpet, saggy sofa, light, textured papered walls.
There is the rattle of pots and the smell of pasta coming from the connected kitchen and sunlight shafting in through the window.
I'm chatting (moaning if I'm being honest :-), about feeling unhappy with my good friend Geoff and he makes the simplest observation that leads me to a transformational life path.
Geoff is a bit of a joker, he is light-hearted, he has dark hair and often a twinkle in his eye but when its important, he is always there for you because, aswell as the light heartedness, he has a kind empathic heart.
During the course of the conversation, he says
'you need to learn to relax mate',
the conversation moves on but afterwards those words have stayed with me, they sit there the seed of a realisation.
Over that week I wake up to the simple fact that I am quite stressed and I have no idea what to do about it
It is such a simple realisation but it leads me to sign-up to a Tai Chi taster class run by my amazing Tai Chi teacher Christie.
I remember my first class, it is a few weeks later, I am in St Mary's church hall in Cardiff in the UK, it's more modern than old, it's warm and spacious, the floor is a welcoming warm brown herringbone pattern.
There are long curtains keeping the warmth in against the dark, cold, rainy October evening. The room is pretty full.
We have a go at some of the simple movements in the class, and then Christie demonstrates the tai chi short form herself; the short form is a connected sequence of postures that flow from one into another.
I see Christie moving and there is this incredible watery flowing quality to her movements, they are so fluid and deeply relaxed but simultaneously they have this incredible robust, strong quality.
I have never seen anyone move like this, I am immediately drawn to it.
Looking back, I think something inside me just knows that this is what I need.
Over time as I practise, tension starts to leave my body and my nervous system settles. I start to feel lighter, healthier, and more grounded. My focus and confidence develops, as months pass and I feel the benefits, I start to practise more consistently. I can't remember exactly when it started but at times I feel emotionally connected for the first time since I was a child. I start to feel more and more whole. This process continues and develops for many years, I become more and more well and along the way, Christie my teacher encourages me to step up and face the challenge of standing in front of a class as she starts to teach me how to teach. As I walk this path I realise my passion for helping people get the most from what life has to offer, I spend 4 years studying and training as an Acupuncturist.
Another time, if you come to class or start an online programme, you will be able to have a wry chuckle at the story of how I ended up allowing someone else to seriously undermine this inner-peace I had achieved and tip me back into stress & reactivity.
Don't worry - I got it back again - That story of making the same mistake twice (which resonates so much with many of us) is really about how these skills helped me to regain inner-peace and wellbeing within the space of just a few months in and in the most emotionally distressing of situations.
It was the experience that gave me an even fuller understanding of the the true depth and power of learning to release physical tension to regulate your nervous system & emotions.
It is what showed me how you can release tension and bring peace, focus and energy to your experience in even incredibly difficult experiences.
It is why I am so passionate about my misson to share these skills with you.